So here it is, 3:30am and I am up. I was asleep. But I had another horse tempt me with getting sick. So I just got up to check on him a few moments ago.

When it’s daylight, I’ll go give him another shot of muscle relaxer and watch him for the remainder of the day.

On a better note- I found a vet to do an exploratory surgery for me for $300- which is 4 times less than my original quote. Now I have to see if the original vet clinic will release his x-rays and blood-work to the other doctor for *a second opinion*. This doctor told me not to get my hopes up- that there is a good chance he won’t make it out of surgery as most tumors in the abdomen don’t bode well for being easily removed/uncomplicated.

What I hate is that they’ll take him in to surgery, and if they can’t save him, they’ll simply not wake him up. So I’ll have to tell him goodbye prior to the surgery and maybe never see him again.

He is visibly, now, more lethargic than he has been and his breathing is a bit labored. My poor friend, he looks like walking death.

My dog, Texas, has been not eating his dog food for about three weeks. He’ll eat, just not HIS food.

I thought at first it was the heat, but he’s been dropping weight the last week, so I took him to the vet, because he shouldn’t be dropping weight.

Friday we went, they did a blood panel, and said that often it is the heat that will make one not eat (I knew that).

Today I talked to them- he had an elevated White Blood Cell Count and low Platelet level.

I took him in and they found a softball-sized tumor in his abdomen.

They do not know what it is.
They do not know if it can be removed.

He is being very stoic, but he’s obviously in discomfort.

I was shocked at how much an exploratory surgery will cost- around $1300 and they won’t know until they get in there if it can be removed and what sort of growth it is. I was also shocked to see what 2 *NON-DIGITAL* x-rays cost me- $142- I could have had 5 digital x-rays done on a horse for that cost.

If they get him in there and they can’t remove it, they’ll simply not wake him up.

I am utterly distraught.
I do not know what to do.
I don’t want to do surgery wondering if they can’t remove it.
I understand that if they can, he could go on to be very healthy and live several years more.
I also understand that he could grow another tumor and we’d have to start this whole process all over again.
I don’t want him to suffer over my selfishness.

Today, at the barrel race I saw the CUTEST dog I’ve ever seen. And keep in mind I LOVE my Higgins dog a papillon.

But my new crush is a Norwich Terrier.

I mean, OMG!!! How could I NOT want one?

Anyone want him?

He’s about to wear me out. He has been for some time. He pants just to pant. He runs laps just to run laps. He barks at imaginary boogers. I can’t take it any longer.

He can’t let my husband out of his site.
He’s always under your feet and refuses to get out of the way.

And he sheds.

Have I mentioned there are 4 dogs in this house? And that they are inside more then they are outside? And that I hate dog hair?

Anyone want him?

We have four dogs; well really more like 3 and a quarter, because Higgins doesn’t count as a whole dog, since he’s 1/4 the size of the others.

And they can’t stay outside.

No.

They might get dirty.

OMG!

So they can make the house dirty? And dusty, and sit on the couches, and get more dog hair everywhere? The liver and white springer has scratched one sofa already because some people can’t say NO to her since she’s so cute.

Just shoot me now.

But to put me in a better mood, lookit how cute my Higgins is: