It’s really been kind of a crazy weekend. Simply by chance, and not by any doing of our own choice, really.
If you’ll recall, I said last week the weather was turning bad. Thursday brought snow and cold. Friday was more of the same – only it snowed ALL day and we now have 8-12 inches of snow on the ground. It was around a negative 2 for the high on Friday. This snow and weather are making getting horses rode, challenging. To say the least. Today it’s not supposed to be much better- a high of 28 with wind chills in the -15 range. Joy joy.
That morning we found out that Zach had a death in the extended family (his cousin). He’d just gotten out of the hospital the week before and while everyone knew he was dying, the family had gone off, back to their respective homes and jobs- as he had pulled through, and has done so before. One of his daughters, Stephanie, lives in Hawaii and is a flight attendant. She and Zach are close so we got that call from her on Friday. She was in Japan on a flight and was heading back. We offered to pick her up at the airport if need be.
Saturday she calls and needs us to get her in Pierre at the airport. So Zach, his younger brother Guthrie (ok, so all his brothers are younger than him) and myself load up to get her. We get about four miles away from Pierre and the car breaks down. I’m pretty proud of me for not freaking out seeing as how it was only 13 degrees outside, and we couldn’t run the heater. Steph’s plane had come in early, at 2pm. By this time it was 2:30. She had to call another relative in town and get them to bring her to us to pick us up and take us to the Pub down the road. In the meantime, Zach called AAA to get a tow truck, and then called his youngest brother, Bud, to come pick us up at the Pub down the street. I of course, had run off to town without either one of my cell phones (though I did bring a book to read). And I’m starving. We were planning on getting Steph and eating in town.
Lucky for us, at the time the tow truck arrived, so did Steph and her cousin, Sis. We were taken back north, the car was taken south to the Ford House, and the Pub had a special on Prime Rib Sandwiches. Oh, and beer. So the four of us, ordered a round, ordered some food and waited on Bud to get there.
When we finished eating, we headed north, to take Steph to her Dad’s house (which I suppose is now technically hers). All of her siblings were there (the four of them- I have met two of them prior) and her mom (who I’ve met) and the grandkids. We spent the rest of the evening on their ranch- and left about 11 to come back to the ranch. While we we there, Bud fell down a hole (into the crawl space of Steph’s older brother’s house), because he thought there were stairs to climb up (we’re all still laughing about this), and Guthrie got beat in ping pong by a 12 year old.
Admittedly I was in a funk when we got back to our house. I was tired, hungry and really homesick. Something about the fact that Zach has his family and his friends around, and that I was surrounded by people that I do not know, who are not my friends, or family just really got to me. I feel like I never know what to say or how to act in those situations. As if the family isn’t really interested in support or the care of a stranger. For the record, I didn’t feel unwelcome. It was totally the opposite.
This created a crappy Sunday morning for both of us, as I sat on the couch and cried for a couple hours. I’ve been here 8 months, and have ZERO friends outside his family. The only people in his family that even have my cell phone number are Bud’s wife and his neice Shari. I suppose I could reach out to Shari since I never see her. I do see Kirsten since she and Bud live at Granny’s while their house is being built. It’s hard here, though, to get together and do things. It’s not like you’re all 15 miles fom the local TGIFriday and you can get together and have happy hour. I think I also feel like I have to censor myself, and I’ve felt like that for a while. Like I can’t really be myself. Like I can’t speak my mind for fear of some smart comment coming from his brothers (that I may or may not know how to take) or fear of some sort of political backlash from all of them, since they lean left and I’m so not going that direction. I’ve been worried about being politically correct. I so want people to like me and I don’t want to argue with them, so I just shut my mouth. I don’t feel smart enough to discuss things. Maybe that stems from a time in my past when I was told that everything I thought was wrong. Maybe that’s why I have no confidence. Maybe I really should just keep my thoughts to myself.
Now that I’ve depressed all of you with my self loathing, here’s something happy. Zach got the cabinet/bench/coat rack that we put in the laundry room finished. I have photos, but I’m going to post them later. I also have photos of the snow, and our cat, Turtle, who is covered in snow.
I’ll try to get those up later today.