I didn’t realize I was bitter. I didn’t realize how badly I was hurt, saddened, and turned off by the events earlier in this year.
Mother’s day was last weekend, and my mother had one simple request- attend church with her. We go to the same church- but I am seldom there. I went more regularly until…It was discovered that the Senior Pastor had been having an affair for the past 9 months.
I hadn’t set foot in that church building since.
I had lost my desire. Didn’t really want to be there. I didn’t mind going to other churches- my husband is Catholic, so I would gladly go with him.
When I walked in on Sunday I realized that I was bitter, hurt and angry. I realized that I wasn’t interested in being there because all I could do when Pastor Brent was preaching was think about what Pastor Tim would say on this subject. And that made me angrier. It hadn’t occured to me until Sunday that I was silently angry and subconsiously upset with him for letting us all down. I know that we ALL SIN. All of us. But having an affair and carrying it on for as long as he did, and being a pastor puts him and his sin in a different light- or does it.
I don’t really know how to handle the whole thing. On so many levels I love that church. I’ve been going there for nearly 20 years. I have friends that I love there. But part of me wants nothing to do with it.