I didn’t realize I was bitter. I didn’t realize how badly I was hurt, saddened, and turned off by the events earlier in this year.
Mother’s day was last weekend, and my mother had one simple request- attend church with her. We go to the same church- but I am seldom there. I went more regularly until…It was discovered that the Senior Pastor had been having an affair for the past 9 months.
I hadn’t set foot in that church building since.
I had lost my desire. Didn’t really want to be there. I didn’t mind going to other churches- my husband is Catholic, so I would gladly go with him.
When I walked in on Sunday I realized that I was bitter, hurt and angry. I realized that I wasn’t interested in being there because all I could do when Pastor Brent was preaching was think about what Pastor Tim would say on this subject. And that made me angrier. It hadn’t occured to me until Sunday that I was silently angry and subconsiously upset with him for letting us all down. I know that we ALL SIN. All of us. But having an affair and carrying it on for as long as he did, and being a pastor puts him and his sin in a different light- or does it.
I don’t really know how to handle the whole thing. On so many levels I love that church. I’ve been going there for nearly 20 years. I have friends that I love there. But part of me wants nothing to do with it.
For a while, I felt the same way. When the original announcement was made, I sat in the audience in shock just crying. I have never felt such uncontrollable tears in my life. I came to CBC later in life (10 years ago) and my own father has never been a Christian influence in my life. So the Pastor played a big role as the strong Christian leader that I needed my own father to be. I feel your pain. But now I am excited for the new beginning. Don’t worry, you will get there.
Awww….I was having fun making fun of the liberals in your global warming post. Then I noticed this post.
Like you, I go to church to make my mother happy. Mainly on all the holidays. BUT I cannot stand the leader of the congregation. I know things about him and his life that really turn me off.
They love my mom, she does so much for that place and unfortunately I think some churches (certainly not all) have “leaders” that give Christianity a bad name. The pastors are not trained properly in biblical doctrine, they are rude, and somehow the rules change for them.
This is so important when selecting a good church. The best factor is (without sounding like a creep) is how intelligent and informed the pastor seems to be. Moreover; how “enlightened” they appear. True Christians can detect these things.
Unfortunately the not-so-smart pastors get a following of people that are even less-bright than they are. Such people can turn out to be loyal to the pastor without getting the full spirtual experience they should be getting every Sunday among fellow Christians.
Unfortunately, the atheists are correct when they say that it’s a business. Whenever you select a Doctor, a lawyer, accountant (like me), you have to make sure that these people are going to do right by you when they are blessed with your support.
Your spiritual experience with God is MORE important than those other things. It would be wrong for you to feel anything but betrayed and unsuspecting. God may have forgiven him but God does not forgive on behalf of you. It’s perfectly okay to respect your mother and it’s even more appropriate for you to feel hurt and betrayed.
A little thing we good folks like to call “principles.”
Steve-
Our pastor was one of the most logical men on the planet. He always said we were all capable of any sin at any time. He was very well versed in the scriptures and could teach like no one else I’ve ever heard.
And I think you’re right, I haven’t forgiven him. I just sat, while listening to the Brent, the pastor that spoke, thinking about what our former pastor would have to say on that subject and it made me sick.