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You are here: Home / life / When death comes

When death comes

December 31, 2014 by ~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ 8 Comments

It always takes me a few days to figure out what to say after something emotionally draining happens.

This time is no different. On Saturday the 28th of December, my friend and partner of the past 14 1/2 years left us. Higgins, the much beloved papillon, decided to go it alone and wandered off to die.

I don’t know why he chose to do it alone. Maybe he knew it was time. He was last seen around 10:30 the evening of the 27th, eating a plate of leftovers someone had put out for the dogs. I had hosted the Cowboy’s Family for Christmas that day.  Around 11, I started calling him to come in for the night and he never arrived. We spent the next day looking all over, but to no avail. 

While I knew this day was coming, I expected it to come later rather than sooner (Don’t we always?). I had prepared myself to find him, curled up in his dog bed, where he slept, on the floor beside me for many, many moons.

I still look out the window, expecting to see him in his hollowed out spot of yard, or open the front door to have him come crashing through it — invitation be damned.

He saw me through the worst years of my life, as I struggled to free myself from the clutches of an abusive husband and then an alcoholic husband (I needed to  learn to love me).

He saw me through many of the best years of my life as I healed from past abuses and became the person I was destined to be.

As a puppy he was fearless — he’d sit on the console of the pickup and growl at other dogs in the cars next to us. He was definitely the alarm that you’d expect a dog with huge ears to be. He missed nothing. He had a lot of smarts.  He could sing or speak on command.

 

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One of his best friends was a cat named Roscoe. I had Roscoe in college and these two were inseparable. They played chase and slept together and their antics were hilarious.  Higgins moped for three days after Roscoe got hit by a car.  You can tell in the photos that he was well-kept and groomed prior to moving 80 miles from town. But Higgins loved being a ranch dog. He would get covered in mud, cockleburs and weeds and it never slowed him down. He made many runs with me down the gravel road, and hung out with the other dogs on the ranch – which is why he got so dirty.  I don’t think Papillons are supposed to want to be dirty, but he didn’t mind it in the least!

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Popcorn was one of his favorite treats, and when he had two good eyes he would impress anyone with his ability to catch pieces in mid-air.  I named him after Robin Masters’ butler, Higgins, from the show “Magnum P.I.”  It fit him well – though I don’t think he was even remotely close to being the snob that Higgins character was!

Most, everyone that ever met him loved him. He was endearing (some would say, in an annoying sort of way). And he was loyal to the point that he often got himself stepped on because he’d follow me (while I was afoot), pretty much everywhere.

I heard some nice things from the people that knew him, when I posted his passing on my Facebook page a couple days ago – many of them made me laugh – so I thought I’d recount some of them here:

My favorite papillon! A perfect example of his breed. So sorry to hear the news. ~L

I’m sorry to hear this . Higgins was a great dog. I loved his singing. ~T

Visiting you will never be the same. Also, since he stayed with us some, he was our little buddy, too. “Boo-boo” always came came perkily running and verbally greeting us with his enthusiasm, tail going ninety mph. Will miss him for sure. ~ Mom

Oh Jenn, my heart aches. I know how much a part of your life Higgins was and he also was a part of your mothers and mine, too! How I loved him greeting us, with his yapping. and how he would sing on command….”sing Higgins, sing!” He would sing the way only Higgins could sing. Good bye, Little Buddy. You will be missed. ~Dad

So sorry to hear this Jen! He was a great big little bitty thing! Hugs to you sweetie, I know how much you adored him! ~V

Jenn – he was a particularly fine dog, with a lot of personality and quite a reputation. While the chickens will rest easier, and only speak the name Higgins in hushed tones during campfire tales, we’ll miss him too. Tell the Cowboy to give you a big hug from us. ~I

So sorry. He was a pistol! The best road-dog ever. ~K and he was.  She would know – Kelly and I hauled to a lot of rodeos together, and Higgins was my little partner to many of those college rodeos and countless barrel races around the country. 

He never ceased being happy or cheerful, and honestly, while his breathing had become more shallow, and his eyesight and hearing had declined, he showed no signs of slowing down.  Several times this winter, he climbed into a vehicle with me to do chores, or run around the ranch taking pictures.  He never missed an opportunity to get in a vehicle and go somewhere.  That’s how he managed to go around the country to rodeos. He’d get in the pickup and refuse to get out. So I’d just take him with me.  How do you say no to something so cute? You don’t. 

papillon
Do you see what I see?
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Best little helper.
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He’s adorable.
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Run fast!

 

 I suppose the silver lining in all of this is that I firmly believe there’s a special place in Heaven for dogs. I mean after all – God and Dog – They’re the epitome of unconditional love, right?  I know that Higgins is up there, running around in a rousing game of chase with his best buddy, and self appointed Higgins’ Guardian, Tex. Texas died Father’s day weekend, right before I moved from Texas to South Dakota, in July of 2008, so he never got to come to the ranch, but he would have loved it here — rabbits galore to chase, coyotes to bark at, and Higgins to pal around with. Those two were pretty inseparable. My dad used to give Higgins the “stink” eye, and Higgins would come running to me, while Tex stepped between dad and the little guy. It was a game they played. 

 

waiting on me to get home

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We took our very first family photo the day of the 27th, and while Higgins wouldn’t sit still to be in it, he did make a test shot.  This is the last photo I have of him. 

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The ‘unofficial’ family photo and last photo of Higgins.

 

 

God speed little buddy. You’ll be sorely missed. 

 

 

 

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About ~The South Dakota Cowgirl~

Jenn Zeller is the creative mind and boss lady behind The South Dakota Cowgirl. She is an aspiring horsewoman, photographer, brilliant social media strategist and lover of all things western.

After a brief career in the investment world to support her horse habit (and satisfy her mother, who told her she had to have a “real” job after graduating college), she finally took the leap and stepped away from a regular income; trading the business suit once and for all for cowgirl boots, a hat, and jeans. She has not looked back.

When Jenn first moved to The DX Ranch on the South Dakota plains, she never imagined she’d find herself behind a camera lens capturing an authentic perspective of ranching, and sharing it with others. Jenn has always been called to artistry, and uses music, writing, images, home improvement, and her first true love of horses to express her ranching passion.

Horses are the constant thread and much of her work centers around using her unique style of writing to share her horsemanship journey with others in publications such as CavvySavvy, the AQHA Ranching Blog, the West River Eagle, the family ranch website, and her own website.

Using photography to illustrate her stories has created other opportunities -- Jenn’s brand “The South Dakota Cowgirl” has grown to the level of social media “Influencer”. This notoriety has led to work with Duluth Trading Company, Budweiser, Wyoming Tourism, Vice, Circle Z Ranch and Art of the Cowgirl, to name a few. She also serves as a brand ambassador for Woodchuck USA, Arenus Equine Health, Triple Crown Feed and Just Strong fitness apparel. Her photography has been featured by Instagram, Apple, TIME Magazine, The Huffington Post, and Oprah Magazine. Jenn’s work has been published internationally, has been seen in several books and has graced the covers of several magazines.

Jenn became a social media influencer by accident when she started to explore Instagram as a way to share her life on the ranch with folks that don’t get to experience it. It’s grown into an incredible platform that she uses to empower women, create an environment for self improvement and share life on the ranch.

When she’s not working, she loves to drink coffee, play with her naughty border collie named Copper, start ranch colts, and run about the country chasing cans. Her mother still thinks she doesn’t have a “real” job.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Chuck Bartok says

    December 31, 2014 at 9:19 am

    Jenn,
    We know exactly how you feel.
    Appreciate your sharing Higgins with all of us.
    Out 24/7/365 companion and friend FLO passed December 3rd.
    Our lives were empty for 4 days and we drove to town to the nearest “pound” and rescued “Lacy”.
    Since selling our ranch, FLO was the only animal we had and needed to fill the void.
    Shirley is convinced FLO guiding Lacy, since the little girl has so many of the same Habits.
    We talk about Flo on this post
    http://masterkey4u.com/news/week-9-the-master-key-master-mind-alliance-journey-affirmative-action/
    and then introduce Lacy in Week #12
    Thanks for sharing your experience and enjoy our “friendship”

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  2. japolina says

    December 31, 2014 at 9:30 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs from Miami

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  3. Amy says

    December 31, 2014 at 9:52 am

    Sorry for your loss. Sounds like he was more than just a pet and was a member of the family. He was so blessed to have the love you gave him.

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  4. Tracy Mercer says

    December 31, 2014 at 10:36 am

    A great tribute to an obviously great dog! What a life you two had together.

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  5. Toni says

    December 31, 2014 at 10:44 am

    And…. He loved chickens;)

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  6. Weekend Cowgirl says

    January 7, 2015 at 10:14 am

    So sorry Jen. It really is one of the hardest things to lose a beloved pet….

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  7. Raquel says

    January 10, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    Oh Jenn, I’m so sorry to hear this. Dogs have a way of making each day a little brighter and I’m sure he will be missed.

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