I am going to be gone this weekend to a clinic- remember I mentioned this a couple weeks ago? So you’ll get to read some awesome writing from some other bloggers out there, beginning tomorrow. I may be around this weekend, or I may not- I’m not sure how much time I’ll have but you can bet, when I do get back on Monday night, I’m going to have enough photos and fodder to keep us entertained for quite some time. In the meantime I have been a bad, bad, lazy, lazy Spinner so I thought it was time to join in again.
This week, the Keeper of Sprite- also known as Jen, tasked us with writing as spin about ourselves. Scary I know. And since there’s been some changes in my life, I figured I would write about the things I’ve learned about myself in the past couple years.
To begin with I have learned that life can be stress free. Yes, I actually live in a world with no worries and no cares. Don’t get me wrong, I do fret about the occasional bill, or if money is tight one month, how we’re going to pay it, but inevitably these things always work themselves out. It is what it is, and if I can’t change it, I am not going to worry about it. I will do what I can to affect the outcome, but if I can’t affect it, I am not going to fret. I have way less knots in my back as a result of this.
I have also learned, just in the past couple of weeks, that my actions are my choices. And if someone doesn’t like my choices, that’s their problem, NOT mine. Only I have to live with myself (well the Cowboy lives with me too and he desires nothing for me but my happiness). I let two ex-husbands control me, friends don’t get that option. I let that go on too long. And if that *friend* wants to control what I say to whom, and what I do and to whom and why, they’re not really my friend to begin with.
I have learned that I do not have to have people in my life whose only desire is to sabotage my every move, every desire of my heart or who need to tear me down to build themselves up. That person has no place in MY life. And I’m better for it.
If someone who is your *friend* desires to re-asses the friendship every few months, because you annoy them, they hate your blog, they believe you are fake, and/or that you desire to have a million and one friends you don’t need them either. It is never okay for anyone to treat you badly, and if they’re doing it in an under-handed manner and it’s hard to spot, that’s even less forgivable. That said, life is too short for bitterness or childish behavior, so I will continue to be me, and be the girl I love, the girl that the cowboy loves, the girl that lots of people find fun. I won’t harbor animosity.
I have also learned that I am not a quitter. When the going got rough and tough in my previous two marriages, I didn’t throw in the towel at the first sign of unrest. Like a horse that has trouble understanding what I’m trying to teach it, I did everything in my power to see if the situation(s) could be resolved. I didn’t just sell that horse and get another one. When it became clear that it couldn’t be resolved, that is when I left. I am sick to death of the attitude that, I can’t blame my previous lack of self confidence on the exes, because I’m the one that stayed. Until you’ve been in a situation with an abusive spouse you better keep your mouth shut. Again, my choice, is my choice, not yours. And you don’t get to judge me for MY choice.
I am learning that I can live my life without the approval of my parents or *friends*. That I am free to be who I want, make the choices I want, and that they are between me and my God.
I have learned that I can spot passive/aggressive behavior a mile away.
I have learned that psychic vampires will suck the life out of you.
I have learned that true friends love you despite your quirks. In fact, some of them love you for them!
I have learned that letting go is sometimes easier said than done, but I’m going to do it.
For more Spins visit Sprite’s Keeper.