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You are here: Home / friends / Me Me Me Me Me….

Me Me Me Me Me….

March 25, 2010 by ~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ 12 Comments

I am going to be gone this weekend to a clinic- remember I mentioned this a couple weeks ago? So you’ll get to read some awesome writing from some other bloggers out there, beginning tomorrow. I may be around this weekend, or I may not- I’m not sure how much time I’ll have but you can bet, when I do get back on Monday night, I’m going to have enough  photos and fodder to keep us entertained for quite some time.  In the meantime I have been a bad, bad, lazy, lazy Spinner so I thought it was time to join in again.

This week, the Keeper of Sprite- also known as Jen, tasked us with writing as spin about ourselves. Scary I know.  And since there’s been some changes in my life, I figured I would write about the things I’ve learned about myself in the past couple years.

To begin with I have learned that life can be stress free. Yes, I actually live in a world with no worries and no cares. Don’t get me wrong, I do fret about the occasional bill, or if money is tight one month, how we’re going to pay it, but inevitably these things always work themselves out.  It is what it is, and if I can’t change it, I am not going to worry about it. I will do what I can to affect the outcome, but if I can’t affect it, I am not going to fret. I have way less knots in my back as a result of this.

I have also learned, just in the past couple of weeks, that my actions are my choices. And if someone doesn’t like my choices, that’s their problem, NOT mine. Only I have to live with myself (well the Cowboy lives with me too and he desires nothing for me but my happiness).  I let two ex-husbands control me, friends don’t get that option.  I let that go on too long.  And if that *friend* wants to control what I say to whom, and what I do and to whom and why, they’re not really my friend to begin with.

I have learned that I do not have to have people in my life whose only desire is to sabotage my every move, every desire of my heart or who need to tear me down to build themselves up. That person has no place in MY life.  And I’m better for it.

If someone who is your *friend* desires to re-asses the friendship every few months, because you annoy them, they hate your blog, they believe you are fake, and/or that you desire to have a million and one friends you don’t need them either. It is never okay for anyone to treat you badly, and if they’re doing it in an under-handed manner and it’s hard to spot, that’s even less forgivable. That said, life is too short for bitterness or childish behavior, so I will continue to be me, and be the girl I love, the girl that the cowboy loves, the girl that lots of people find fun. I won’t harbor animosity.

I have also learned that I am not a quitter. When the going got rough and tough in my previous two marriages, I didn’t throw in the towel at the first sign of unrest. Like a horse that has trouble understanding what I’m trying to teach it, I did everything in my power to see if the situation(s) could be resolved.  I didn’t just sell that horse and get another one. When it became clear that it couldn’t be resolved, that is when I left. I am sick to death of the attitude that, I can’t blame my previous lack of self confidence on the exes, because I’m the one that stayed. Until you’ve been in a situation with an abusive spouse you better keep your mouth shut.  Again, my choice, is my choice, not yours.  And you don’t get to judge me for MY choice.

I am learning that I can live my life without the approval of my parents or *friends*.  That I am free to be who I want, make the choices I want, and that they are between me and my God.

I have learned that I can spot passive/aggressive behavior a mile away.

I have learned that psychic vampires will suck the life out of you.

I have learned that true friends love you despite your quirks. In fact, some of them love you for them!

I have learned that letting go is sometimes easier said than done, but I’m going to do it.

For more Spins visit Sprite’s Keeper.

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Filed Under: friends, life, the spin cycle Tagged With: life, the spin cycle

About ~The South Dakota Cowgirl~

Jenn Zeller is the creative mind and boss lady behind The South Dakota Cowgirl. She is an aspiring horsewoman, photographer, brilliant social media strategist and lover of all things western.

After a brief career in the investment world to support her horse habit (and satisfy her mother, who told her she had to have a “real” job after graduating college), she finally took the leap and stepped away from a regular income; trading the business suit once and for all for cowgirl boots, a hat, and jeans. She has not looked back.

When Jenn first moved to The DX Ranch on the South Dakota plains, she never imagined she’d find herself behind a camera lens capturing an authentic perspective of ranching, and sharing it with others. Jenn has always been called to artistry, and uses music, writing, images, home improvement, and her first true love of horses to express her ranching passion.

Horses are the constant thread and much of her work centers around using her unique style of writing to share her horsemanship journey with others in publications such as CavvySavvy, the AQHA Ranching Blog, the West River Eagle, the family ranch website, and her own website.

Using photography to illustrate her stories has created other opportunities -- Jenn’s brand “The South Dakota Cowgirl” has grown to the level of social media “Influencer”. This notoriety has led to work with Duluth Trading Company, Budweiser, Wyoming Tourism, Vice, Circle Z Ranch and Art of the Cowgirl, to name a few. She also serves as a brand ambassador for Woodchuck USA, Arenus Equine Health, Triple Crown Feed and Just Strong fitness apparel. Her photography has been featured by Instagram, Apple, TIME Magazine, The Huffington Post, and Oprah Magazine. Jenn’s work has been published internationally, has been seen in several books and has graced the covers of several magazines.

Jenn became a social media influencer by accident when she started to explore Instagram as a way to share her life on the ranch with folks that don’t get to experience it. It’s grown into an incredible platform that she uses to empower women, create an environment for self improvement and share life on the ranch.

When she’s not working, she loves to drink coffee, play with her naughty border collie named Copper, start ranch colts, and run about the country chasing cans. Her mother still thinks she doesn’t have a “real” job.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. SuziCate says

    March 25, 2010 at 9:35 am

    Great spin. I love the wisdom you’ve acquired in finding yourself, beautiful life lessons. You are exactly right, there is no need to worry about things out of our control. You are very wise!

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  2. Sprite's Keeper says

    March 25, 2010 at 11:40 am

    Love this Spin! I just want to check these items off my list! I tend to stress about the little things, but in a big crisis, I can usually keep my cool. Why is that?
    You’re linked and you’ve been missed!

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  3. Weekend Cowgirl says

    March 25, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    YAY! I like this article. You can only be you and feel good about it. Cannot let unhealthy people suck your happiness out of you. YOU are the key to your happiness. You have a wonderful life so just be happy!

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  4. Lacee says

    March 25, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    oh Jenn … how funny you write about this today. I, too, have learned some of these things myself and Mark just happened to use the word “psycho” today to describe some aspects of it

    Love you!

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  5. Heather says

    March 26, 2010 at 12:24 am

    Wow! Some powerful stuff!

    I felt like I was reading some ones letter to a ex (husband or friend), I’m sure many faces passed through your head while writing this.

    Great stuff and I unfortunately know where your coming from. I used to have issues with letting people control me. In a way, I lost myself and finding myself was the hardest journey.

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  6. Maureen@IslandRoar says

    March 26, 2010 at 8:26 am

    Anyone who doesn’t appreciate you is missing out on a lot!
    Great Spin; enjoy your weekend.

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  7. VandyJ says

    March 26, 2010 at 10:05 am

    Finding out who we are is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Looks like you found yourself. Happy Friday!

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  8. Ellie Belen says

    March 26, 2010 at 11:30 am

    I finally learned those things too. I wished I thought like that when I was in my twenties, But I guess we wise up and realize that life is too fleeting to waste it on the negativity that others might bring into our life. Great Spin.

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  9. Erin says

    March 26, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Great spin! Have a fabulous weekend.

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  10. Brenda Berndt says

    March 26, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    Good post-I hope you’ve gotten that out of your heart and your mind. Forward thinking is the best. Hey-I live by the “Golden Rule”. “Do unto others, as you would have others do onto you”. Powerful words folks.
    Love ya Jenn

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  11. Ve DeCluette says

    March 27, 2010 at 9:50 am

    I am so proud of you and this post I cried! You are an amazing person, and it makes ME feel good to hear that you see it in yourself! Seriously . . . I cried.
    Love you . . .
    for who you are, who you are becoming and for the better person you make me want to be.

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  12. Rachael says

    April 30, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    I wish you would write a spin on me…LOL Just kidding!!! Dont do it!
    Yeah, you are for sure moving your life in the right direction! Love, Laugh and Live! Shut out those folks that keep you from these three things!

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